Envy's christmas
by MiscellaneousTopics
Summary: So what happens when rain takes a toll and Envy is forced to spend the night with Edward? then the next morning a snow storm traps them for 3 or 4 days? yaoi male on male slash i know it's out of season but i really need to get out of this heat
1. Chapter 1

_Humans are such a nuisance. They disgust me._ Envy was watching the busy people on the streets rush to their next meeting or the next train. Not even bothering to disguise himself, he started to feel blood lust as he watched the pests continue with their insignificant lives. Envy hated them all; those things didn't deserve to live. They're so weak and pathetic. The sin stared at an individual. It was a man, around his early twenties. He was stopping at the flower shop to pick up a bouquet. _Stupid humans, with their human emotions. All love does is slow you down and stop you from going anywhere it life._ Envy was glad he couldn't feel love, or be in love. He believed that it was a weakness.

His thoughts were interrupted when it began to rain. _Perfect setting_ Envy thought. For some reason, he was so much calmer when it rained. He could actually pass off as nice if people didn't constantly mess up all the time. But it really should be snowing; it's around Christmas after all. Lust and Sloth both hated the rain; they said it would "ruin their hair". _Woman, who needs them? _Another thing that separated him from the other homunculi is the fact he's not interested in the opposite gender. Even Gluttony has a crush on Lust. No body of the opposite gender really was interested in Envy anyway. Greed always used this to annoy Envy. _So what if girls don't interest him. That doesn't mean I'm gay right? I'm just too busy for that type of stuff._

The green haired sin watched a young couple walk by. They didn't seem like they were in a hurry, despite the bad weather. On the contrary they seemed to enjoy their stroll down the side walk. The man was holding the umbrella for the woman. When a chilling breeze brushed past her causing her to shiver, the man gave her his jacket. _Typical humans, willing to risk their own health for others they "loved"._ Envy always hated the expression "It's better to love then lost, then never to have loved at all." It didn't make any sense to him. If you fall out of love with someone, then it means you never loved them at all. The homunculus would rather never love anyone then to watch them walk away. Luckily this will never happen, or so Envy thinks.

As Envy was still walking collecting his thoughts he realized something. He quickly looked around to find he wandered off to the other side of town. _Damn it, it'll take me hours to return back at Dante's even with my speed._ Envy couldn't get in a taxi either; there were none around to hail. Envy thought he was going to have to wait at the park but this rain seemed it would stay all night. As if on cue he turned to find the Chibi walking out of a deli. _Perfect._ Envy changed into a puppy, trying to look helpless and lost. He ran up to the alchemist and began to whimper. Edward turned to see a little puppy lost and was begging for a rescue. But there was something odd about this puppy, and then it struck him. What creature has purple eyes?

Edward transmuted his auto mail arm into a blade, ready to fight. The puppy smiled before turning back to its preferred form. Envy smirked saying,

"Well done, you figured me out sooner than I thought you would."

"Shut up! What do you want anyway?" _Knowing Envy, it won't be anything good._

"I'm hurt Chibi, why can't I just pay a visit to my favorite midget?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT TODDLERS COULD BEAT HIM AT BASKETBALL?" Envy smirked at Edward's reaction.

"Hey don't have a cow; I just need a place to stay until it stops raining Chibi."

"Do you really expect me to let you, a villain, and a cruel hearted bastard, in my house for the night? And on top of that after you insulted me?"

"Yes," it was fun to push Chibi's buttons. It wouldn't be long until he explodes.

"Give me one good reason, and then I'll let you stay but only for tonight," Edward thought Envy would be stumped.

"Because I have this," Envy said while holding Edward's state alchemist watch up. Edward's mouth hung wide open, it would hit the ground if was open any wider.

"How did you?" He looked around to find a hole in his jacket. It looked like it was scratched open. _Damn it Al, why do your cats keep messing with my stuff?_

"Fine, but you try anything funny-"Edward was cute off as Envy replied.

"Don't worry, besides I'm not allowed to kill you or your brother."

A few moments later, Edward was opening his apartment door. _I've gone nuts; I'm standing her, opening my home for my enemy, someone who would kill me if they could. Why didn't I just fight him for it back? Whatever it's too late now, my clothes are too drenched._ Edward opened the door to find Al playing with his latest edition.

"Al keep your cats away from my stuff," Edward said dropping his coat on the couch.

"Brother! Envy's behind you!" Al was about to clap his hands when Edward stopped him.

"I know! I know! Look it's raining and I lost a bet so he's staying for tonight." Al looked at him, his body language screamed "you can't be serious". Edward replied by saying "Yeah I am". Edward's eyes soon wandered off to Envy. The sin's clothing made it easy for everyone to admire his features. Edward seemed mesmerized by the muscular body until Al snapped him out of it.

Envy was glad that Al was more excepting after the Chibi explained what happened. Envy just changed himself so that his skimpy clothes were dry as well as his hair. Edward glared at Envy, almost with jealousy.

"You can have the couch," Edward dragged a blanket and pillow to the sofa.

"Thanks, oh yeah here." Envy tossed him the watch. The alchemist stood there clutching the watch in his gloved hand.

"What?" Envy said wondering why he was still standing there.

"You actually gave it back to me, "he sounded as if Roy rode a unicorn while in a dress.

"Yeah, if you don't want it," Envy joked.

"No, it's just that you actually held your end of the deal." Envy shrugged and said,

"A deal's a deal." Edward mumbled and walked away from the reliable sin.

Envy couldn't get the smell of wet dog from his hair. _Ugh which means I have to take a shower. _Envy despised showers; the water was always too hot or too cold. Plus the soap always got in his eyes. He walked down the hall, and went inside the bathroom. Quickly changing his body so now the skimpy clothing was gone, the sin turned the handle to turn the water on. Envy reached his hand out so it was right underneath the nozzle, he was checking to see if it was warm enough. Soon the Sin walked in and closed the curtain. But one thing about showers he liked was the privacy. It was a place where he could just be alone with his thoughts. Envy started to mumble out loud, and started to talk to himself. "Why did Edo look so surprised when I actually gave back his watch? Sure I'm a villain, but by now he should know that I always keep my end of the deal." Then while he was rinsing off the shampoo another topic came to mind.

"Why was Chibi checking me out?" _It couldn't be because I'm hot or anything. Everyone knows I'm not but it's weird_. Envy stepped out of the shower wearing nothing but a thin towel covering his waist and a towel on his head. Sure Envy could just change his body so it was dry, but he wanted to test Chibi to see if he really was interested. This idea excited him, the fact that someone was attracted to him. So what if it was a guy, Envy was technically genderless but preferred to be a boy. Edward was reading a book when Envy stepped out and plopped down on the couch. Edward's eyes widened as the half dressed homunculus sat next to him.

"Envy! Please put on some clothes!" Edward said trying to hide his face. His blushing face was so cute; Envy loved seeing the teen struggling to control his raging hormones.

"Why? It's not bothering you, is it?" Envy said leaning in.

"No, it's just weird to have uh a half naked guy uh next to me okay?" Edward stuttered._ Damn, why am I having trouble controlling his speech? Why am I even nervous it the first place? And why am I checking out Envy? Envy's a guy, I'm a guy, and this isn't supposed to be happening. Although if I am gay, it would explain why Al as attracted to Winry, like the rest of the guys in 3__rd__ grade, and I wasn't. But it's Envy, my enemy, right?_

Envy couldn't believe himself. Why was he lowering himself to a human? Even if this human like him, why should he care? After all they're just little insects waiting to get crushed, right? _Humans, they're weak. They're just pathetic things that can easily be broken and replaced. I have killed so many of them, so why can't I bring myself to kill this one? Besides the fact I'm not allowed to, by Dante's orders, I couldn't do it. I'm supposed to hate him. I hate him! But I don't…What's wrong with me? I hate him, right? He did take everything away from me; he received all the things I was supposed to have. But besides the jealousy, there was something else. Wait, what am I saying? I don't need him, imagine me, Envy, needing a human. And on top of that, it's Chibi-san. He's just a human, so much lower than me._

Edward had an urge to kiss the other male. Without even thinking, Edward followed his urge and leaned in. Envy's eyes widened in surprise at the Chibi's move, he couldn't believe that the alchemist kissed him. _Why can't I stop? Stop! What am I doing? Why am I not pushing him off? This feeling, I've never felt this way before. Why can't I stop, why don't I stop? _Slowly Envy felt his eyes and close and finally sink in. Envy had believed he had given in to the enemy. That he had betrayed Dante and the others. If he believed that he did all of that, then why didn't he stop? Why didn't he want to stop? Envy broke the kiss; a red flushed look now covered his face. Both men were breathless from the passionate kiss. Envy turned away and said,

"It's getting late; you should probably go to sleep now."

Edward opened his mouth to protest that it was only seven, he got the message Envy needed to think about it. Edward left without saying another word. Envy thought about what just happened, and how could he let a human effect him so much. _It's impossible for it to be "love". There's no such thing in a homunculus's world, it's just another stupid human vice. But then why did I let Edward kiss me?_ Envy gasped, he had never called him by his real name. Not even when he thinks about him. Envy buried his head in the pillow yelling "What's happening to me?" _Homunculi can't feel love; well maybe the others can but not me! Every time I was attracted by someone, I would kill them. That's the end of it, and I wouldn't feel anything else but blood lust. Why is it different now? I couldn't bring my self to hate the Chibi, let alone kill him. Why…why…why do I feel this way?_

Envy woke up in the morning to the smell of pancakes. Homunculi don't need to eat but some do it for the pleasure like Gluttony or occasionally Wrath. Envy never did eat, and never will. The smell of food was too disgusting. Envy was rubbing his eyes when he glanced over to find Chibi's brother making breakfast.

"Morning," Envy said as he was about to walk out the door.

"Wait, won't you stay for breakfast?" Al said holding up a stack of pancakes.

"Nah can't be bothered by that thing you call eating, I better be on my way." But Envy's eyes glanced over to the window. His eyes nearly popped out of his head. He ran to the window to find nothing but snow blasting in from all directions. Envy groaned it must have snowed a foot or two. He couldn't go home in snow, he hated the powdery substance, reminded him of dandruff.

"Yeah, I see you've noticed the situation. Looks like we'll be stuck in this apartment for 3 days at least," Al said as he warmed up some coffee. Envy's jaw dropped.

"3 days?" He spit out. He couldn't be stuck here, not after what happened last night.

"Yeah or 4 days, "Edward now entered the scene. He was not dressed yet, wearing only black leather shorts and a black tank top. Envy lowered his head looking down.

_Great, looks like I'm stuck with a crazy cat tin can and a raging hormones teen with a bad temper, sounds like the holiday spirit alright. Why did I have to question the rain?_


	2. Chapter 2

"Looks like we're going to be stuck in here for a while huh?" Edward said while stuffing his face with more pancakes. Envy groaned and said "don't remind me."

"Come now Envy, it won't be that bad," Alphonse said while feeding his cats.

"No offense Alphonse, but some things aren't clear anymore," Envy said remembering their kiss last night. Envy looked up; Edward was dragging a piece of pancake across some syrup but didn't eat it. Alphonse then motioned Envy to come to the hallway, Envy felt his throat tense up. _Great, it's bad enough I've let a human manipulate me, stuck with humans for days, and now the tin can has to find out what happened. Well hopefully I'll commit suicide before committing a relationship with the Chibi._

"Envy," Alphonse began. Envy knew where this was going. He was going to question Envy about their relationship and how it got started. Then he was going to try and get them together, sickening. What humans did for a love. So sickening, love was such a pest. To Envy's surprise Alphonse wasn't going to question him about Edward's move, what he really wanted was Evy's help.

"So let me get this straight, you're going to hold Edward down while I force feed him the milk?" Envy said making sure it was right.

"Shh, don't talk so loud. But yes, I'm strong enough to hold him down."

"Okay," Envy smirked. Though it was helping Al, Envy would do anything to torture someone right now. Even if the torture didn't actually involve death like it usually would. The two walked out with Al pretending to convince Envy to stay. When they were fake fighting, Envy would call Al names.

"What do you know? If you haven't noticed Homunculi are so much stronger than you foolish humans," Envy got the glass of milk ready. Al faked a gasp and went to hug his brother. Edward, clueless about their plot, let Al hug him. Ed just thought Al was being sensitive again. Envy gave the signal; Alphonse nodded and yelled "Now!" Edward was soon lifted off the ground, trapped in a bear hug. Al had his hands separated so no alchemy could be used. Envy quickly sprinted to the struggling Edward and now frustrated Al.

"Hold still Chibi," Envy said as he pried Ed's mouth open.

"No!" the older brother started to thrash around. It was starting to look like a fishing scene. You've got one fisherman holding down the catch while the _other_ is trying to get the net around the catch.

Envy stepped back for a moment. _Damn at this rate nothing will get accomplished. Why do humans always fight over stupid things but give up so easily whenever I kill them? It's now fun without the fight. But right now, I need a way to calm Ed down._

Envy then forced his mouth on Edwards. Envy had never noticed how soft his lips were, and Edward had a familiar scent. Vanilla was it? Yeah but with a little bit of…butterscotch? Yeah smells like him. When Edward was stunned by the kiss Envy then he shoved the glass of milk. Edward drank all of it. Alphonse finally let go of the now messy alchemist. Milk was everywhere, stained his hair, tank top, and basically all of his face. It was the ultimate milk moustache. Al didn't question Envy's method of feeding but he did make up a stupid excuse.

"Uh, I have to go uh, brush, my hair uh, yeah."

Edward rolled his eyes. _Did Al forget that he doesn't have any hair? Or is he just backing away from me? Why did Envy kiss me? It was probably another way to torture me. To mess with my mind, mess with my emotions, mess with me._

Envy stared at me before laughing his head off, it wasn't a sadistic laugh. It was almost, a warm laugh. Edward glared at the sin, he couldn't tell if he was laughing because Ed fell for the kissing trick or because Ed's face was redder than a sunburned lobster.

"What's so funny?" Edward said with a glare.

"Take a look in the mirror; you're covered in cow juice." Ed made a face, now milk disgusted him even more with the fact it really is cow juice.

"Oh ha, ha, besides it's all a joke to you," Envy stopped laughing and had a serious expression plastered on his face.

"After all, I'm just another pawn. A toy to you, only reason you haven't killed me is because you weren't ordered to," I said desperately trying to hold back the tears. Envy's face hardened and said, "So?" I felt my fists tighten and I fought hard to restrain the urge to scream and yell.

"So? I guess I don't have a point here after all. It's not like I should care anyway, I mean it's just a game." On that note Ed walked away from the sin. His face was clouded with confusion, anger, and sadness.

"Wait-"Envy said reaching out for Ed but the bland locked the door to his bedroom, leaving the homunculus with a slam to the face. Evy got angry at this; he was not to going to be rejected by a human again.

"Fine, go cry yourself to death! Why should I care? Like you said, you're just my toy, and I can easily replace you!"

Envy was about to walk away when the door opened slightly. Envy looked over his shoulders to find Edward's once light eyes hollow as Xerses. They were completely empty, almost like Edward was dead. Envy's eyes widened before he caught himself running to the door. But it was shut once he reached it. He just stood there looking down at his feet. _It's just a game right? I don't really care for the weakling. I don't care. I don't care about anyone but myself. If that's right, why am I crying? _Bitter rain fell to the ground. _After all I'm just a cold hearted bastard living in a cold hearted world in the middle of a freezing storm. If I don't care about the Chibi, why does it hurt every time they fight now? _Homunculi may be good at physically healing but Envy had a case where the philosopher's stone couldn't do a damn thing.

Al had heard their fight, it would be hard not to. _I wondered what happened. Why does brother care anyway about whether Envy cares or not. No, unless…Ed's in love? Impossible! But then again, why did Nii-san not fight Envy when he kissed him? I'll have to talk to Envy about this. It's a little early to disturb either one after their fight. I'll ask later when they both have calmed down. But I'll need to find something to keep them pre-occupied. I wonder if Winry can help… _

After about an hour of solitude Edward heard banging against his door. Edward groaned he would eventually have to face Envy anyway. But when he answered the door it was Winry, she had been staying with the mechanic two floors down.

"Winry, what are you doing here?" Edward said with a moody tone. Winry glared at him,

"I know about your problem Edward." Edward's panic radar immediately flew to 10 out of 10. _Great, if Winry knows then Al must know too. They probably hate me for being a disgusting gay guy._

"But that doesn't matter, what matters is we're going to have fun while this blizzard is still running," Winry had a smile on her face. Edward knew this wasn't good. Winry had dragged him but his arm to the living room where he saw Envy tied to a chair with heavy chains.

"This is so stupid, "Envy mumbled. Winry glared at him saying,

"Stupid or not, we're going to play truth or dare."

"And if I don't?" Edward demanded. Ed hated truth or dare, too many bad memories.

"Then we'll pour a bucket of milk on your head," Al said pointing to the bucket near him. I stared t the bucket, I was within range and Winry locked all the doors and only she has the key…tucked away in between her bra. Smart, it was somewhere I could never get it.

"Fine, but don't try anything stupid," I sat down where there was a bottle placed.

"What if I don't play?" Envy said with a smirk.

"Then say good bye to Miss Daisy," Winry said holding up a limited edition Daisy doll from 1845. Envy's eyes widened, it took him forever to find her.

"How did you know about my doll collection?" Envy said red faced. Winry smiled and said "Lust told me, she owes me a favor." _Damn it Lust! Thanks a lot you traitor. _

Envy sighed and said okay I'll play but can you untie me?"

"No way! You'll escape" Al said tightening the chains.

"Fine, just start this stupid game before I have to go and kill someone, particularly a blond girl someone." Winry ignored the death threat and spun the bottle. The bottle landed on Al.

"Truth or dare Al?"

_**What should Al's dare be? What other characters should appear? Please let me know, and I take requests for anything as long as it's not a Greed fan fiction.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Al thought for a moment before finally making up his mind.

"Dare," He said with caution, after all who knew what Winry could do?

Winry smiled slyly and said,

"I dare you to go one day, no one week, without playing with your cats."

Envy and Edward groaned, they both agreed that was a lame dare. But to Alphonse, it was the worst thing imaginable.

"But Stargaze, Lilac, Irisia, and Moonlight need me," Al protested snuggling with either Moonlight or Irisia. It was hard to tell since all the cats looked the same.

"Well it's either that or a bucket of milk on the head," Envy piped up from the chair he was strapped to. Al frowned, well frowned as much a suit of armor can.

"Fine, but you guys have to take care of them." Edward groaned while Envy sort of nodded like it was okay.

Al then spun the bottle. The bottle pointed to its next victim: Envy.

"Envy, truth or dare?" Al asked almost happy. He must have thought of something good considering the fact he lost his cats for a week.

"Neither," Envy said. Envy hated this game. One time when Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, and he played, it didn't turn out good. It was actually was about as bad as the time Greed bid $1500 for jacket back since Wrath "lost" it. Wrath wound up with a major sugar hangover, Gluttony was cross dressed, and Envy got his hair styled…by Lust who made it look like a poodle. Lust, of course, didn't get anything bad. When it came to truth or dare, she knew how to play her cards right.

"Come on Envy, pick one or say goodbye to your doll." Winry said holding up scissors to the fragile dress.

"Oh fine! Truth, I pick truth!"

"Aww, is the big, bad homunculus afraid of a dare?" Edward taunted. Envy's face quickly went from annoyed to about to kill someone.

"Don't you dare look down on me, human! Fine I pick dare." Edward grinned; he knew Envy had too much pride to be "looked down upon" by a human.

"Okay," Al's tone was surprising mischievous like he had something up his sleeves, or armor in this case.

"I dare you to prank call Armstrong and ask him about his tips." While Envy's mouth dropped to the ground, Winry and Edward were laughing their head off.

"No way am I doing that! That guy is psycho!" Envy sat in protest. Winry coughed holding scissors closer to Daisy. Envy growled, he sometimes wondered if Daisy was worth it but he then mumbled something.

"I'm sorry what was that you said?" Winry said straining to hear.

"I said, give me the phone," Al then handed a phone to Envy who dialed the number slowly. We all gathered around to hear the conversation.

"Hello, Major Armstrong speaking." We heard on the other end of the line.

"Yes hello Major, it's Ed. Just wondering if you can give me some tips on how you're soooo awesome." Edward exploded after hearing Envy use his voice for his dare. Alphonse and Winry were practically dying from trying to keep their laughter in.

"No fair Envy! You can't use my voice for your dare!" Edward shouted. Luckily Armstrong didn't hear as he was babbling how this was "passed down the Armstrong family for generations" or that is "something only the Armstrong's knew".

"Well actually, I never said he couldn't," Al said after he had finally quit giggling. Edward shot his brother a look that could make him explode on the spot. After about ten minutes of Armstrong's babbling, Envy said goodbye and hung up.

"That was too good," Winry said as she high-fived Alphonse. Edward continued to glare at the now smug sin. He was probably really proud that he managed to embarrass the Chibi through what was supposed to be a boring dare.

"Well it's my turn now, so all of you should be prepared." Envy smiled devilishly as he spun the bottle. We all shuddered to what horrors Envy could bring.

"Nothing illegal Envy," Edward warned. Envy's face put on a fake disappointed pout.

"You make things no fun Chibi-san." Edward swore that Envy was bi-polar, or at least had something that made his change moods so easily. The bottle slowed down to point to… Winry. Edward let out a sigh of relief. He was so glad that he was free from Envy's psycho wrath.

"Winry, do you choose the truth or the dare?" Envy said smiling a sadistic smile. _Poor Winry, but better her than me. Envy scares me way too much; he'll go easy on her probably. Either that or mentally scar us all for life, which ever comes first._

"Truth," she said sternly.

"Okay then, would you rather spend a day listening to Roy singing or shave the back hair off Dante?" As if on cue, we all went Eww when the topic of Dante came up.

"Roy singing, definitely," Winry said now looking a little green.

"Okay then well my part of grossing people out is done, so let's continue."

Winry spun the bottle, just when it was about to point to Al again it stopped at Edward. Edward groaned but he was the only one who didn't already go.

"Truth or dare?" Winry had on a poker face.

"Dare," Edward said unsure of the dangers that lurked ahead. Winry's face changed into something truly evil, she whispered the dare into Edward' ear. Edward's eyes slowly widened as he heard the girl's sinister dare. His face now matching the color of a rosy apple, he refused.

"No way am I doing that!" he said trying to crawl back. Winry then coughed and pointed to the milk.

"I don't care, I'm not doing that!"

"Come on Ed, please! Even Al did his dare, so it's only fair if you did yours."

"Uh guys what's going on?" Al asked. Envy was also raising an eyebrow to the situation.

"Nothing!" Edward said.

"Just do it Ed," Winry put on a puppy dog face.

"Nope that won't work on me," Edward crossed his arms stubbornly. Then all at once Al and Envy, yes Envy, joined in with Winry. Feeling uncomfortable with their faces, Edward finally said, "Alright! I'll do it." Winry did a victory jump.

"So what was the dare?" Envy asked. He was soon answered as Edward ran his tongue down Envy's neck. Envy shuddered; he was not expecting that to happen. Then kissed his forehead, cheek, and finally lips. Envy had mixed feelings about this. Some part of him wanted to kill Winry for this. Another part wanted to thank her. And another part was mainly lust. This emotion was trying to take over, but Envy had too much pride to admit defeat to the Chibi. He wasn't going to break down as easily as Winry thought. _Stupid girl, did she really think one kiss was going to persuade me to let a human effect me? This isn't a romance movie; I just wish she could get that through her thick head. After all I spent half an hour explaining that to her earlier._

_~flash back~_

"I know what happened with you and Ed, Al told me everything." Envy just glared at the mechanic who sat down next to the sin. _Did she really that I would accept her as a friend? Someone who I can tell everything? Fat chance_. _After all I have no feelings for the Chibi, nothing except bloodlust. _

"What about it?" Envy scoffed. Winry narrowed her eyes; he wasn't going to make this easy for her. But then again, she didn't expect him to.

"And how you won't open up your feelings to him. Look he likes you and it's obvious you like him. So just forget about your pride and admit it already."

Envy's blood started to boil, after all how dare this human talk down to him. Like she knew what was better for him? The last time he checked his mom was the bitch named Dante.

"Why would I? A sin, a homunculus, has feelings for something like a human? Especially a short one? So just go run along before you really make me mad." He could kill her but he promised he wouldn't try anything funny while he was staying here.

"No, and why don't you just admit your feelings? Though you're over four centuries old you still know what love feels like. So why is it so hard for you to just face the fact that you're in love?" Envy stared at this mechanic; she's really nuts if she thinks Envy can love. Envy laughed and laughed, but it was anything but warm.

"You really are clueless, aren't you? Homunculi can't feel love? Nor can they give love. It is a worthless human emotion that does nothing but slow you down." While Envy was busy saying how he thinks love is a vice, Winry got out her largest wrench.

"You're not listening!" Winry said as she knocked Envy out with her wrench.

Few minutes later he woke up tied to a chair, waiting for the appalling game of truth or dare.

_~End of flash back~_

Envy blushed but quickly scowled. He pushed the alchemist off him and mumbled something that couldn't be heard. Envy left the room and locked himself away into the bathroom. Al and Winry sighed while Edward looked mildly disappointed.

"Well that plan didn't work," Al said.

"Yeah, and I thought it was the perfect plan." Winry looked disappointed that things didn't go as planned. Winry soon left afterward, seeing that her part was done. Edward just kind of stared out the window.

"Nii-san, are you okay?" Al asked.

"Oh I'm fine Al," Edward flashed a fake smile. "Just go and eat lunch without me, I'm not really hungry right now."

"Okay but if you do get hungry. There's some leftover chicken with rice and string beans in the fridge, okay?"

"Okay Al, and oh I won't tell Winry if you do play with your cats." Al sighed.

"No it's okay, I should keep my promise and I will do it. Just make sure Moonlight, Stargaze, and Irisia are together. Lilac prefers to be alone."

Edward laughed at his brother's knowledge about what his cats liked. Although he thought that four cats were four too many. But Al was pretty calm when he let Envy stay so he let him keep the cats.

Edward then went to the kitchen to get some lunch; he ate a lot for someone his size. While he was looking for a plate in the bottom cupboard he heard someone come into the room. Slowly and quietly he peeked over the corner of the counter. The sight was truly amazing, Envy, the bad homunculus, playing with Al's cats. No kidding, all of them. And to top it off, he looked like he was having fun; heck the cats were having fun. Edward looked like he had just observed a whale crawling out of the sea and flying into the sky. Envy's favorite cat seemed to be Lilac, the one who usually likes to be alone.

_Amazing, every time I try to pet Lilac. She scratches me, but Envy and she are getting along better than Al and I._

Edward got the cold chicken out of the fridge and slowly walked away to his room, he made sure Envy didn't see him. Envy probably wouldn't let Ed live after seeing Envy's soft side for cats.

Later, long after Envy started playing with the cats, long after the failed game of truth or dare, and long after dinner, Edward fell asleep with a book in his hand. The problem with this is that he fell asleep on the couch where Envy would sleep. The sin stared at the blond, his ponytail fell out so his golden mane fanned out underneath him. Envy couldn't wake him up, so he carried him bridal style to Edward's bedroom. As soon as he got the Chibi underneath the covers, he looked around to make sure no one else was watching.

"You better not tell anyone else about this, "Envy mumbled as he placed a kiss on Edward's lips. Envy left the room, closing the door behind leaving the boy to his slumber. Edward's eyes cracked open and h whispered into the dark,

"Don't worry I won't."


	4. Chapter 4

Edward woke up from the first peaceful sleep he had in a long time. Though something bothered him, or at least made him question things. Like, did Envy really kiss him? Or was he just hallucinating from the smell of milk, if it's even possible to get drunk off milk. If Envy did kiss him, why did he do it? From what's been happening, it sounded more like Envy being the psycho who can't murder anyone, yet. Edward got up from his bed and shuffled across the floor. Even though his mind was awake, his body seemed to disagree. The blond looked up to find Al in his usual place, cooking something at the stove. But there was one part that didn't seem to fit the puzzle. What the hell was Envy doing there, helping Al cook? And why was he wearing an apron while doing that?

"Envy, can you watch the toast? Make sure it won't burn." Envy nodded as Al went to go feed his cats. He always cooked a fresh breakfast for everyone, and he means everyone, even his cats always eat cooked fish or chicken.

"Whoa, I thought I had seen it all. But now I suppose the world's going to explode." Envy turned around and banged Edward's head with a spatula.

"Hey, just because I'm wearing an apron doesn't mean I'm going easy on you," Envy said as he went back to go pour some coffee.

"Whatever, why are you cooking anyway?" Edward said as he sat down. Envy placed a plate consisting of French toast, strawberries, and eggs. Edward stared at the plate, Envy raised an eyebrow. He thought the Chibi ate like a pig, so why wasn't he eating?

"Why aren't you eating? What, now you don't like eggs either?" Envy said as he placed a glass of the horrible liquid known as milk in front of Edward.

"How do I know that's not poisoned?" Edward said as he pushed the eggs around on his plate. Envy rolled his eyes.

"Here, I'll prove it to you," Envy took a bite of the toast and swallowed it. Though he didn't need to eat, he preferred sweet things when he wanted to.

Finally convinced, Edward ate the rest of the toast. Envy went back to cleaning the dishes when he noticed the Chibi was watching him.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Envy stated. Edward quickly blushed and decided he shouldn't confront the homunculus of their kiss yet. After breakfast, which only Edward and Al's cat ate, Edward was finishing paperwork Mustang assigned.

"Why do I have to do his work too?" Edward mumbled as he got through the first stack of paper. He sighed, only nine more stacks to go. He heard tapping on the window; he lazily looked over to find another homunculus. Lust was standing on the balcony, in a bored position. Edward cautiously walked over and opened the window.

"What are you doing here?" Edward demanded he didn't need more than one homunculus staying at his apartment unless he had no choice.

"Well, I figured that with the huge blizzard and six feet of snow, Envy would stay with you." Lust said peering over to find Envy playing with Al's cats.

"Yeah and? If you're here to get him go ahead, he's all yours."

"No, no, it's not that. Unlike the rest of us, Envy has a difficult time walking through snow and would definitely not last the seven miles back to Dante's." Lust invited her self in and sat down in a chair.

"Speaking of which, how did you get here?" Edward said seeing no large tracks in the snow. Only tiny tracks covered the endless sea of white, made by animals small enough to get across the layers of icy death.

"Oh that's easy, but that's something I can't say. But the point is I wanted to give you a piece of information." Lust was busy examining her nails.

"What's that?" Edward said not sure if this was a trap.

"Today's Envy birthday," that was all Lust said before disappearing out the window.

"Wait," Edward said but when he got to the window there was no sign of her. No tracks, no footprints, no anything. _I wondered why she wanted me to know that. It's not like she thinks I want to plan a surprise party for him. He would just laugh and crash it. Or worse get annoyed and destroy everything in sight. He doesn't seem like the party type. But why else would she travel seven miles to just to deliver that short message? Well I guess I better get started. Ironic, Envy's birthday is Christmas Eve._

"Pst, Al comes here." Edward whispered as he crept into Al's room, where he already found Al wrapping a box up with ribbons and wrapping paper.

"Whoa how did you find out about Envy's birthday?" the alchemist said as he sat down on the bed next to his brother.

"Wrath paid me a visit the other night, saying today was his birthday."

"Weird, Lust did the same just a minute ago. Why do you think they told us that?" the Chibi noticed Al's present. It was another doll, this time the doll looked suspiciously familiar. The doll had golden hair in a braid, golden eyes, and a red and black Victorian dress.

"That doll reminds me of someone," Edward stated as Al finished wrapping up the present.

"It should, it looks like you, only in a girl form. It's the last in the series and he's been looking for one everywhere apparently. So what did you get him?" Edward froze; he didn't know what he should get him.

"Uh, uh, I don't know actually know," Edward confessed. Al sighed and turned to his brother.

"Well figure it out soon, the guest will be here any moment."

"Huh? What guests?" Edward said, eyes wide open/

A few moments later, Lust, Wrath, Gluttony, Greed, and Sloth gathered in the living room. Envy had an annoyed face, he didn't want to be reminded of the day he was brought back to life. Lust did something so out of character; she was almost Sloth for a moment. Lust playfully smacked Envy and said,

"Lighten up, and have fun for once in your life."

"Yeah, thanks for the tip mom," Envy rolled his eyes. He saw Wrath eating his stash of chocolates in secret.

"What do we do now?" Sloth said. Greed spoke up from the couch he was sitting on.

"How about birthday punches for the birthday boy?" Envy glared at him, getting ready to fight.

"Do that and you'll never see day light again."

"Come on guys, this is supposed to be fun," Sloth said trying to lighten things up.

"Mommy's right, so I suggest we bake cookies," Wrath said with chocolate smeared all over his face.

"Yeah right, looks like you ate all the chocolate," Envy picked up a bunch of chocolate wrappers.

"True but cooking something is a good idea," Al said.

"Okay, but what should we make?" Edward asked. Everyone all said at once,

"Cookies" "Smoothie" "Spaghetti" "Filet Mignon"

"Okay, bad approach. Envy what do you want?" Gluttony asked. Gluttony would pretty much eat anything.

"Don't know, don't care. Remember? Homunculi don't need to eat."

"True, but we can if we want to, so just pick something."

"Pizza," everyone stared at the green haired homunculus. They all suspected he want something sweet, like a parfait or a sundae.

Five pizza pies later, the eight were covered with flour, tomato sauce, and toppings.

"Well what you guys want to do, while we wait?" Sloth said picking out pepperoni from her hair. Wrath and Greed started a food fight, and it did not end well. Luckily most of the mess was cleaned up by Gluttony and Al's cats.

"Hey guys, look what I brought," Greed held up a bottle of wine.

"Hey if you hadn't noticed, some of us aren't old enough to drink," Edward glared. Wrath nodded in an agreement while he was struggling to sit still. Envy was sure the kid had a behavior disorder or something.

"Wrath, you're old enough and you are too Alchemist." Greed took a long swig. After ten minutes, everyone except Alphonse and Edward had taken a sip.

"Come on Edo, take a sip," Envy said now a little tipsy. Edward pushed away the alcoholic beverage.

"Let's check up on that pizza, Al," Edward gave his brother a pleading look. Al went to go take the pizza out of the oven. Greed and Lust were dancing to imaginary music, Wrath was complaining about his life, Sloth fell asleep, and Envy was flirting with the plant in the corner. Al brought out the pizza, everyone gathered around the table.

"Yummy," Wrath munched.

"Dude, this is like the best pizza ever!" Greed was fascinated by the slice of pizza.

Edward brought up a slice to his mouth but his slice was slapped out of his hand.

"Envy, what the hell-"Envy shoved one end of a slice in Edward's mouth while he ate on the other end. Edward blushed like crazy; Envy's behavior was really embarrassing. Luckily the other sins were too drunk to notice, but Al did notice.

Envy quickly chomped down on the pizza so his lips could meet up with the blonde's. Edward pushed him off, and looked over to Al.

"Okay, time for Envy's presents," Al changed topics.

Lust was giggling uncontrollability as Greed struggled to move from the dining room chair to the living room where everyone else was. Envy was the exact opposite mood of before. Before the wine, he was extremely annoyed at the idea of a party. Now he, in mild words, was loosening up.

"Here open ours," Lust and Sloth giggled. Edward had never seen her so happy and bubbly.

As Envy tore off the wrapping paper, he found something that made him turn two shades darker.

"What is it Envy?" Wrath was eager to know. Lust and Sloth fell off the couch, laughing their heads off.

"Uh, it's not really for children to see Wrath," Envy made Wrath turn away as he held up a pair of candy underwear.

"For when you and full metal want to spice things up," Sloth said through her giggles. Instead of getting angry like he would normally do, he smirked and said,

"I'll keep that in mind."

Next present was from Al, Envy's eyes widened as he brought the doll up. Envy did something that would make people question his gender even more, squeal and hug the doll. Al beamed to the sin's positive reaction.

Gluttony was hugging the pillow as he said from his sleep,

"The Buggy loaf needs another light bulb so we can malice people with ducks."

Everyone laughed at Gluttony's comment, Envy placed the doll down.

"Wow, that looks like someone I know," Wrath stated. The boy thought for a moment before saying, "I know. It looks like Greed!" Edward laughed, sure if Greed was a blond, wore red and black, and wore a braid.

Last present was from Edward only; he had to give his in private. The sins all walked over to the door to leave but Al insisted that they would stay. After all, what's more dangerous than five, drunken homunculi roaming the streets at night?

"So Edo, what's this great present of yours that you couldn't show me earlier?" Envy stumbled and fell on Ed's bed. Edward bit his lip, nervous. That was a word to describe it, also fear. His present was so lame compared the one Al gave him.

"Look up," Edward said. Envy lazily did what he saw was mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. While the sin was distracted, Edward leaned in. pressing his lips against the homunculus's lips slowly. The difference this time was Envy didn't struggle to get free, Envy had kissed back. Edward broke the kiss and blushed, "happy birthday." Envy laughed and said "If that was my gift, then lets get serious." Before Edward could react, Envy already pressed his lips against Edward's. Tongue exploring everywhere. The make out session continued until Envy passed out from the wine. Climbing into bed, Edward felt something warm against him he turned to find Envy hugging him. With a smile Edward leaned over toward the nightstand and blew out the candle.

_Sweet dreams, Envy. Sweet dreams._


	5. Chapter 5

Envy slowly felt his eyelids open, the sunlight from the window had woken him up. He groaned and wished he could go back to sleep. Plus he was having a massive hangover from last night. _That's the last time I'll trust Greed, and definitely the last time I'll drink in a long time. I don't even remember what happened. My head is killing me; I really need some more sleep. _But once he was up, he was up. He tried to the blanket over his head and realized he wasn't on the couch anymore where he usually slept. He felt around to see he wasn't along either. Edward had his arms lazily hung over Envy. But when Envy tried to escape, all of a sudden the spaghetti arms with tighten and become a steel cage. Now Envy had two options. One, try and sneak away slowly and replace himself with a pillow. Or two, wake up the Chibi and confront what happened last night. Suddenly he mind put two things together. _In bed with Chibi, I was in Chibi's bed. Chibi was hugging me, we were "snuggling". No it can't be…oh please don't tell me…that I slept with him. No he wouldn't take advantage of me like that. And I couldn't have lowered myself to human standards. No, I'm Envy the homunculus. I would rather commit suicide five hundred times before I'll do that._

Envy tried to get out of bed but Edward had a firm grasp. Edward mumbled something as he felt something soft. He opened his eyes to find a surprised Envy. Edward smiled and said "Did you have a good sleep?" Envy quickly changed his expression as he sat up.

"No, now tell me what the hell happened last night," Envy noticed his back didn't ache which meant even if they did sleep with each other, he wasn't on bottom.

"Relax; you sound like you were just raped. Nothing happened last night that you wouldn't like I promise," the alchemist reached over to Envy.

"Unless, you count something like this," and then he brought his lips to Envy's. But Envy's reaction was anything but happy.

"Get off me! Yes I do count that as something I wouldn't like," Envy pushed Ed off and left the room with a confused Chibi sitting there.

"Damn Envy, and his bipolar mood swings. It's like he's on his guy period all the time," Edward sighed, he had expected this reaction. After all, Envy has way too much pride to admit anything that contains two things together, humans and love.

While peering up from the counter, the alchemist saw Lust holding her head while she and Sloth stumbled across the room. Edward chuckled and said in a big brother tone,

"I told you, drinking was a bad idea," Lust's nails sharpened as she glared.

"Shut up, it's too early in the morning to be happy. They should make that a law," she stated as she sat herself down on the chair but Sloth was kind of lying on the floor.

"And it would be a law you would break, hey…where's Wrath and Gluttony?" Greed was sleeping on the couch, his arm hugging a wine bottle. Wrath popped up from the trash can screaming "PEEK A BOO!" Edward screamed, not like a girl but he did scream. Wrath turned with a concern face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare anyone," his head tilted down.

"It's okay, I was just surprised that's all," Edward laughed it off.

"Didn't sound like you were surprised," Envy entered the room with an annoyed expression, what will it take to get Envy to finally admit that he fell for a human?

"Ugh you guys need to tone it down, you're all too chipper for Sloth and I," Lust rubbed her temples.

"Why are you guys so glum? Gluttony and I woke up super early and he went to go get something to eat, do you have chocolate? Can we have chocolate pancakes for breakfast?" Wrath jumped on Al.

"I envy you Wrath, even with alcohol you manage to stay hyper," Sloth said.

"Aww, don't be sad mommy. Can I do anything to help you?" Wrath now went from jumping on Alphonse to being Sloth's pet.

"Just get a glass of water," Sloth said with a weak smile. Wrath rushed to the kitchen to get one. Edward and Alphonse were busy making breakfast when Gluttony popped through the front door. Literally, the frame was just able to let Gluttony slip in.

"Gluttony you didn't eat anyone right?" Envy asked they couldn't risk being caught here especially with everyone having a hangover. Gluttony nodded his head and said,

"Gluttony good boy, Gluttony bring back this for metal boy," Gluttony waddles over to Al and dropped a bag of fresh fruit.

"Oh, thank you Gluttony," Gluttony smiled as he went over to comfort Lust.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Gluttony, Lust's having her bitch moment," Envy smirked while Edward face palmed himself. Was Envy trying to die? Lust glared and said,

"Yeah and you're not. I heard what happened last night and I also heard what happened this morning. Mind explaining why you let yourself fall for the enemy?" she made sure to stress the word "fall". Alphonse whispered to Wrath,

"I thought we were friends now."

"No, she means how he likes a human which Envy considers a taboo," Wrath whispered back like they were school girls sharing secrets.

Envy ignored the two and just glared at Lust.

"As if, I would never let a frail human get to me. You should know me better," Envy waved her comment off as if it were nothing. Lust just stared, at first it looked like steam was about to come out of here ears but her facial expression slowly relaxed. She got up and dragged Gluttony and Sloth behind her.

"Where are we going?" Wrath left Al to chase after his mommy. Lust turned and said,

"Back to Dante's, now go wake up Greed or Gluttony will carry him." Gluttony frowned, he didn't want to carry Greed but Lust told him so.

After all the other sins walked out the door, Lust left last. As she was walking out the door she turned her head so her eyes met Envy's. But there was anger, just almost a sad, pity look.

"I know you Envy, and you're going to have to face the facts sooner or later before reality comes and smacks you in the face. You're not going to be able to hide from it this time; you can't hide from yourself forever." Envy was gong to protest but with one swift move she was gone. _What does she know? Last time I checked I knew what emotions I had. And I knew when I was in love or not, and the answer is never. Like I said love is a powerless emotion leaving its victims vulnerable and defenseless._

Envy looked out the window, still had about three feet to melt. Envy got up and went to go find Lilac, his favorite of the cats. He found her hiding behind the couch; she jumped on his arm and playfully attacked it. "Christmas, it's going so great" sarcasm spoke.

Suddenly the door bell rang and he saw it was Gluttony at the door.

"Hey Gluttony, why are you here? Did Lust send you here to kill me?" he asked. Gluttony shook his head while he sucking on his thumb.

"No Gluttony give message to metal boy," Gluttony looked around for Al.

"Where metal boy?" As if on cue, Al appeared from his room.

"Oh hi Gluttony, did you leave something behind?" Alphonse asked. Gluttony shook his head and took the Al's hand and made him follow to Al's room. Whatever the message was, Envy wasn't supposed to hear. But being the nosey guy Envy is, he leaned against the wall to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"So wait what does Lust want me to do?" Al asked.

"Lust wants you to talk to Envy. Lust say Envy no talk is bad. So Lust says you talk to Envy," Gluttony said. _I knew it had something to do with me! Damn it Lust, stop trying to be big sister on me, I'm the older one!_

Later during the day, Al decided to approach Envy when he was most calm. Whenever Envy was playing with Lilac, it was always easier to talk to him.

"So Envy…" Al began but was rudely cut off as Envy interrupted.

"I know Lust put you up to this so, you can talk all you want but I won't answer."

"Well that's alright, I'll just talk and feel free to jump in anytime." Envy narrowed his eyes; this guy was way too polite for his own good.

"So I noticed that Greed seemed to limp when he walks even when he's sober. I wonder if something happened to his leg to make him that way." Envy's eyes widened, impressive observations.

"His limp reminds me of the time Ed and I were helping granny. She needed us to build a new chicken coop since our old one was going to collapse, but being we were really young we got into some trouble. She didn't tell us we had to, but we wanted to help her out. So we didn't know how many nails we needed or how much wood to use or even how to build one big enough to hold chickens in. we didn't know alchemy at the time so you can how young we were. While going to buy the supplies, the store owner must have decided he could use this opportunity to swindle some kids. He offered a deal that he would build the chicken coop if we gave all the money we had now. I was younger and was more willing to do what he said. But brother was smarter, what happened next was so funny at the time. Big brother scowled and kicked the man in the shins screaming

'Rip off artist!' then we both high tailed out of there before he could get angry." Alphonse stopped to see Envy was actually smiling, a genuine smile.

"Greed got his limp when he was trying to hit on Lust when he was drunk. You can tell things didn't go well for him," Envy laughed. Right now it was hard to believe this was the bloodthirsty homunculus, Al doesn't know anyone who could be bloodthirsty and play with cats.

"Ouch, I don't even want to know what she did," Al said, happy that Envy was talking.

"Trust me you don't," Envy got up to stare out the window. There was more snow covering the ground. Al noticed that Envy narrowed his eyes at the sight of snow falling._ He must not like snow very much, no one does when it snows this much._

"So your brother is persistent," Al look up to find Envy still staring out the window.

"Yeah, Nii-san is stubborn enough to think he can do anything if he puts his mind to it," Al mumbled remembering the time Edward tried to bake a cake for Winry's birthday.

"That's good to know," Envy's eyes were still fixed on the snow, even though it looked like he despised it like Edward hates milk.

"Envy, just talk to me. It can about anything. The first thingthat pops in your head," Envy winced but never took his gaze from the window.

"What are you my therapist?"

"No but it seems like you have a lot on your mind." Envy opened the window; he put his hand out the window. The coldness of the flakes calmed his nerves.

"How can something so cold be loved by many?" Envy muttered to himself. Envy kept repeating that to himself. Until eventually he found himself repeating,

"How can someone as cold as me ever be loved?"

Envy turned to Al; he repeated his question once more this time louder.

"How can someone as cold as me ever be loved?" Alphonse got up; he was trying to say something until he found the perfect words of advice.

"That's something you have to figure out." The two stared out the window, Envy's hand now completely cold and damp. _So many words I can use to describe this moment, sappy, stupid, and typical. So if this is sappy, then what's love? How can these snowflakes, so cold be loved by many? When it snows everyone is happy, though it's so cold in winter everyone is so warm._

"So if everyone is so warm when it's so cold. Is it possible there's still a light in me?" he turned to see Al's reaction but found he was gone.

"Maybe under all these layers of cold, there's still a light flickering, begging to be fed, so it can grow stronger." Envy now held his new doll, they continued to stare out the window even though the breeze was freezing and snow stuck to the doll's hair.

"Maybe," Envy mumbled as he closed the window. "Maybe," Envy hugged the doll tightly as he dried the doll's hair.

"Maybe I'll give this love thing a try."


	6. Chapter 6

Envy decided to go annoy the Chibi while he was doing paperwork; it always seemed that Roy would give him his paperwork as well. When he got to opening the door he heard a groan coming from the room. With one eyebrow raised he was curious to what was going on. Silently Envy crept up against the wall, listening to their sort of loud conversation.

"So Al, um, I have to give you the talk. Winry said that it's uh about time for you to um know about your uh body," Envy tried to keep his laughter in when heard the alchemist stutter.

"That's great brother but shouldn't we do this when I actually have a body?"

"That's what I said but Winry and Granny keeps pestering me so, yeah." Envy was having a hard time trying to contain the giggles lodged in his throat.

"To be honest Al, I'm not sure with this either but I got a book from the library on it."

Envy could hear the sound of rustling papers; it would be hard to find the book under a mountain of paperwork, notes, and books that all say the same thing.

"Okay, now once a month you'll get these cramps. That's normal for when you're in the age of eight to fourteen."

Envy practically lost it after hearing that, the damn Chibi got the wrong book! But there was no way he was going to stop, not yet at least.

"What? But you're almost sixteen, how come you're not getting them?"

"I guess I'm a late bloomer," Envy heard Alphonse mutter "that would explain why you're short."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A GRAIN OF SAND IS LIKE A MOUNTAIN!" Edward's comebacks were starting to fade off until it became more and more wordy.

"Come down Nii-san, so why would I get these cramps?"

"Well once a month you'll get this thing called a period, it's when you bleed from your uterus. The cycle should last anywhere from five to nine days."

"So wait…you're telling me I will bleed from here?"

"Yes and when you do, you need to either use a pad or tampons."

"What are those?"

"It's sort of like a cloth that absorbs the blood. It says most girls prefer the pad but you can't go swimming with the pad."

"Okay, Nii-san, are you sure about this?"

"Yes, now here I'll show you how to use a tampon."

Envy couldn't take it anymore and let it all out. Al and Edward opened up the door to find Envy laughing his ass off, like he just saw Greed wearing a tutu.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked he was a little annoyed that Envy was laughing at him.

"You…Chibi…you gave him the wrong talk!" Envy said between his giggles.

"What? I asked the librarian for a book on puberty," Edward stated. The homunculus got up and wiped the tears coming from his eyes.

"Yeah but you got the book for girls," both of the brothers froze before Alphonse giggled a little. But Ed on the other hand, was anything but amused.

"Shut up!" Edward was now beet red.

"It's okay Chibi-san but I nearly lost it when you mentioned how to use a tampon," Envy noticed that they should really get sound proof walls. These walls were really thin.

"So wait I don't need to bleed…" Al was more confused than he ever was.

"Here, I'll show you guys how it's done." Edward raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?" Envy smirked then laughed.

"You both need to know about the talk right?" The two nodded, still unsure what the sin had in mind.

"Great, I'll go get the banana," Envy dashed off to the kitchen.

About twenty minutes later, Edward came out of his room with a beet red face but this time it was not out of anger but out of embarrassment. Alphonse followed him shortly, Al whispered to Edward.

"I think we need to get Envy some help."

"Definitely, who else could ever of thought of using wedding cake that way," Ed made a face. He wasn't going to eat cake for at least a month now.

"So, have any questions?" Envy stepped out of the room with a whip in one hand and a rubber duck in the other. Envy was weird, but they haven't seen anything yet.

"No, and thank for you for the next three years of therapy. I'll make sure to send you the bill for my psychiatrist sessions," Edward scowled. Envy told them way too much information then needed.

Later after lunch, Alphonse heard the two fighting. He sighed; he wondered if Edward was really the younger brother. He walked in to find Envy holding some filed above his head while Edward had one of his dolls dangling from the window.

"Okay, what's going on in here?" as soon as he said that, he wished he didn't. Envy and Edward both spoke at once; their voiced were fighting to be louder then the other.

"Guys, one at a time, tell me what happened slowly. Edward go ahead, say your side of the story." Envy pouted while Edward stuck his tongue out.

"Okay so I'm doing my paperwork like Mustang wants me to when this guy comes over and makes fun of my height. Envy kept on annoying me until he snatched away my files and put them over his head. So then I grabbed his doll, then you walked in." Envy glared and yelled, "Liar!"

"Okay Envy now tell me your side." Alphonse was already getting a headache even though he has no head.

"So now I shall tell you the real story. So I walk to Chibi right, I've got nothing else to do. So I start to talk to him, then he gets all annoyed. So when I accidentally say

'What? I can't have small talk with you?' he goes nuts. Then I start to toy with him and put the files over my head. Then he grabbed my doll and threatened to throw her over, and that's when you cam into the picture."

"Liar! That's more fake than Granny's wig," Edward yelled now trying to reach for the files, but Envy just made his arm longer. Alphonse grabbed both of them and sat them down; he really was dealing with kindergarteners.

"Envy go play with Irisia and the others, Nii-san just go back to doing paperwork. Now I don't want to hear anymore out of you two until dinner, is that clear?" Both of the pouting men and Al uses that term lightly, nodded.

After dinner, Al was cleaning up. Then he noticed Lilac was running away from Edward's room. All the cats seemed to have left they're favorite room, which happened to be Edward's since that's where Al keeps the catnip.

Alphonse walked over quietly, well as quiet as a suit of armor can walk. He heard a groan coming from the room, it sounded like Edward.

"What the-"Alphonse was cut off with another moan.

"Did I do that right?" Envy asked.

"Yes, you did it perfectly," Edward purred.

Alphonse couldn't believe what he was hearing. _No Nii-san could never… Envy wouldn't take advantage of him like that. No, this can't be what it sounds like._

"So what do I do now?" Envy asked.

"Just move it forward."

"Like this?" Then Alphonse heard another moan come form the room.

"Wait. But what about you? Won't you get hurt if I-"Envy was cut off with Edward saying "I'll be fine."

Alphonse wanted to open the door but he felt as if he was frozen. Like someone had tied him up and made him sit through this torture.

"So wait what do I do now?"

"Whatever you want, it's your move."

"This is really fun; I should play with your brother."

Alphonse felt his imaginary stomach flip over, that was truly disgusting.

"Sure, maybe we can get Winry to join in, and Granny's a pro from all her years."

"Hey lets ask your Granny for some tips."

"So do I do this?"

"No not there! Jeez you're an idiot."

"Hey! It's my first time; you must have had trouble with your first time."

"Nah, I've practiced so much with Winry, Granny, and even my mom helped out. Besides I'd think being four hundred years old you would have at least done it once."

"No and don't fun of me for it."

"Okay just keep moving forward."

Al was unable to hear this anymore, but he felt as if he was being restrained. But he snapped out of it and opened the door. He found both men fully clothed, sitting on the floor playing a game of chess.

"Check mate," Envy said. Alphonse was stuttering the two looked over to him.

"Hey Al, I was teaching Envy how to play. And to think this is his first time playing Chess, he beat me already! Alphonse was still getting over his near heart attack.

"What's wrong? You sound like you just saw Dante shaving her legs," Envy got up.

"No it's nothing," Alphonse muttered before steeping out of the room.

"I wonder, what's gotten into Al." Envy shrugged before he sat back down.

Envy stared at Edward with a victorious look on his face.

"Oh don't give me that look, best two out of three?" Edward said. Envy smirked before saying "Your on!"

"You know what we should do?" Envy said when Al was busy giving Moonlight a bath.

"What?" He was trying to stay dry but Moonlight seemed to other plans in mind as she moved around, trying to escape.

"We should pull a prank on your brother." Envy had another reason besides for the chuckles. Something he couldn't say directly.

"Okay what do you have in mind? Remember, nothing illegal."

"Relax; I was thinking more in terms of this:" he whispered something to Al.

"Okay I'm in," Envy beamed.

"Great so I was thinking we could use…"

Edward has just finished taking a shower; he stepped out of the bathroom wearing a black tank top and boxers. He sat on the couch when he noticed Envy was crying and Al was comforting him.

"Envy what's wrong?" He assumed it was because he won the last two matches of Chess.

"I have some news for you," But Envy was pretending to fake sob so much he couldn't speak right. This was Al's cue to explain.

"You see Nii-san, Envy's…pregnant." Edward's mouth reached all the way to the floor.

"What?" Edward was still in shock. It took all of Envy's strength not to smile.

"Well as you know, Greed does weird things when he drunk…"

"No…" Edward felt his face turn white, whiter than a spider is icky.

"Yeah, but I just want you to know." Envy moved closer to Edward.

Edward embraced him in a hug, "What?" he asked softly.

"That your so easy to prank!" Envy shape shifted so he no longer had bump on his stomach. Al and Envy were busy laughing while Edward was overcome with emotions. First he felt happy that Envy didn't have Greed's child, then he felt embarrassed for believing him, then he felt angry.

"Come on, lighten up. It's just a joke."

"You tell me if your still laughing when your love's pregnant with another person's child, "Edward growled.

"Well I know that'll never happen," For a moment Envy looked serious.

"Because… you're way too short to be my child's dad!" Edward stomped away.

He fell on top of his bed. _I can't believe Envy! He really scared me; ugh he's such a loser- wait. Did he say "You're way to be my child's dad"? Does that mean he likes me back? Mhh Subliminal messaging, I see now. I should of known Envy was too egotistic to actually say it. So does this mean I have a chance?_

Edward got under the covers, _well we'll find out tomorrow. Tomorrows going to be fun. _


	7. Chapter 7

WARNING THIS CHAPTER IS A LITTLE LEMONY

Author's note: sorry for not updating! But I'm going to make a sequel if I can get an idea, (hint: please give me an idea! You'll win a free cookie!) But there's going to be a sad ending with a kind of happy note in this chapter. But this chapter is going to introduce a new idea to the plot. So this is the second to last chapter until the epilogue.

Edward woke up a little earlier than usual. He had something in mind for Envy that morning. The alchemist walked down to his brother's room, Al was busy doing some paperwork. It was so sad that Alphonse couldn't go to sleep. Edward made sure the door was closed in order for his little stunt to work. Slowly and quietly he crept down the hall, luckily Envy was conked out on the couch. His fingerless gloved hand fell across his black midriff; the sin's mouth was slightly open. Edward silently chuckled, if only Envy knew how cute he looked when he was asleep. But if he ever told him, he'd never see day light again.

Envy yawned, he still felt drowsy even with the ten hour sleep. Rubbing his eyes he saw the lights were already on. _Odd I remember turning them off last night. Eh maybe he chibi got a midnight snack and forgot to turn them off. _The homunculus soon got the surprise of a life time. After all, how often do you see a beautiful, blonde chibi wearing nothing but the candy underwear Lust gave? The sin's mouth hung wide opened, his eyes nearly too big to be proportional for his head. Nothing could come out of his mouth except for a few stutters. Edward smirked, he had finally caught him.

"So Envy, hungry?" Edward moved like a cat toward the blushing homunculus.

"What are you doing?" Envy tried to sound outraged but ending up sounding a little too vulnerable. _Damn, control your self!_ But his body had something else in mind.

"Just asking if you were hungry, "the alchemist shrugged, this was all a part of plan.

"But if you're not…" he began to walk away.

"WAIT!" Edward smiled as he stopped.

"What is it?" he turned around slyly with a cocky smile.

Envy felt his pride smash into a million pieces; he can't believe he just did that.

_Envy, get a hold of yourself. Why are you so weak? Make him want you, not the other way around._ His mind screeched but he still felt like a school girl with a crush.

Instead of answering the question Envy put his gloved hands on Edward's shoulders and brought them into a kiss. Even though Envy currently was in control, it didn't last long. Their tongues battled for dominance, but it seemed no one would stay winner for long. Edward pulled away, breathless with red tinting his face.

"Envy, humans need air!"

"Oh yeah, I kind of forgot. " Envy said shyly.

"It's okay, as long as you admit, you fell for me." Envy smirked, now understanding the game.

"In your dreams," he pulled the alchemist back into a passionate kiss.

It was weird, Envy tasted like star fruit, exotic and one of a kind. He almost had a bittersweet taste; it was like Edward could also feel the four hundred years of loneliness mixed in with the few happy memories. It was weird, he was supposed to hate Envy, even kill him if necessary. But he could never, especially with him in cute little black outfit.

"So, are you…going to…admit defeat?" the chibi between breaths.

"Not even close," Envy definitely had the upper hand to this. Edward pouted. It looks like he'll need to put in one hundred percent effort.

"Then how about this?" Envy's neck soon had a little visitor, Edward's tongue to be specific. Soon he ran his tongue up and down his neck, the homunculus shivered to the touch. It felt too weird, too good to be true. Envy gasped, he felt a little nip, and the chibi was marking him! _Oh that's it…_

"Oh so that's how it's going to be, huh?" Envy turned to face the alchemist. He then began to kiss downward, starting at his forehead down to his shoulder. Edward soon gave up and became submissive to him. Envy smiled, seeing he had won. Soon his gloved hands began to remove the candy underwear that covered the blonde's beautiful body.

"Envy," Edward stopped him.

"What?" Envy looked annoyed, he can't be serious! He can't stop now.

"Let's just stick to kissing okay?" the Chibi's eyes pleaded him. Envy groaned as he nodded in agreement. Edward smiled and rested his head on Envy's shoulder.

"So what does this make us?" Edward said while playing with a lock of Envy's hair. Envy smiled and said in a husky voice sexy enough for any male or female to melt from hearing it.

"Anything you want us to be, lovers, boyfriends, partners, and the list is endless."

"I think I like lovers the best, so what do we do now?" Envy's face brightened as an evil glance fell upon it.

"I'll go get the wedding cake!" The alchemist froze as his face burned like a hot summer day. Soon his frozen state melted away as he yelled after the homunculus.

"Oh no, you don't! That's way too crazy."

"Fine…we can use the rubber duck first." Edward stood in a confused stance.

"Great, where do you come up with this stuff?"

"Oh if you only knew how messed up I can be," Envy waltzed over in a sexy bunny outfit with fuzzy handcuffs and a cow hat.

"Where did you get that outfit?" the alchemist had to contain himself from dying of a nose bleed.

"Lust," Envy smirked as he sat down in the Chibi's lap.

"Now where we?"

The two were too busy fighting for dominance to notice a certain someone walking into the room. Al coughed; the two looked up, one in embarrassment, another in shock.

"Oh my god, Al!" Edward quickly covered up his candy underwear the best he could.

But it was too late; Al had crouched down into a fetal ball position. He was chanting,

"Go to a happy place, happy place, go to a happy place."

Envy scratched the back of his head; obviously he was sorry and embarrassed.

"I'm going to go change now," Envy dashed out of that room like wild fire.

Edward sighed as he mumbled, "Great now Al's scarred twice for life."

Later Envy heard knocking on the door, when he opened it he saw a tan girl with brown and pink hair.

"Sorry but we don't want any cookies," Envy slammed the door in her face before she could speak.

"Envy!" Edward scolded him as he opened to door again.

"I'm so sorry, Rose." _Rose, where have I heard that name before? _Envy thought to himself. _Oh yea, she's the religious nut who was brain washed by that fake father awhile ago. So then what's she doing here?_

Edward seemed to know what Envy was thinking because he asked the same thing.

Rose blushed shyly as her eyes watered slightly; soon she embraced Edward in a hug. Envy felt his blood boil from the sight, his eyes soon became wild with rage.

"Edward please I beg you! Will you marry me?" both gay lovers mouth hung open. Edward was in shock, while Envy's anger took over like wild fire spreading through a forest.

"Uh what?" the alchemist had never been so confused in his whole entire life.

"Please, you are the only one I can turn to," Rose buried her head in his shoulders where Envy should be.

"Rose, I am really sorry but I have to decline." The alchemist tried to push the girl away but failed to break her iron arms.

"Please don't!" she was now quivering. Envy scowled at this girl, she had some nerves coming here.

"Why me then?" Edward said as he tried to shake the girl off but like gum stuck to a shoe, she wouldn't budge.

"Because you've opened my mind, and helped me understand what was so obvious. Please! You're all I have left to turn to!"

"No please go away," Edward once again tried to push her away.

"Not until you finally agree." Envy's eye began to twitch in annoyance; this did not go unnoticed by Edward. He knew Envy wouldn't put up with this for long.

"No Rose!" But then she did something she would instantly regret if she knew what she was dealing with. She smashed her lips with Edward. Envy gasped, it almost seemed like his eyes were bright red. They were red, not for romance but with ferocity.

Finally Envy's patience snapped he had enough of this girl

"Like I said, we don't want any of your damn cookies!" The brunette was interrupted when Envy's foot met with her stomach. After being brutally kicked, she looked up to find a closed door. _Who was that palm tree any way?_

A rage filled Envy is never a good thing, the homunculus turned to face a nervous chibi.

"What the hell was that about?" Edward flinched from Envy's outburst.

"How should I know?"

"Then why would she come up to your door asking for marriage?" The green haired sin eyes were puffy and red, his fists clenched but hopefully he wouldn't need to use them.

"Envy just calm down," Edward lowered Envy's hands.

"You honestly think I would be with someone?" Envy pouted, arms crossed as he glared. He still had his suspiciousness taking over his emotions.

Desperate to change topics, Edward's eyes glanced over to the window.

"Hey look the snow melted."

Envy's head turned to find chibi telling the truth. Envy sighed as he went to go open the window; he was stopped shortly by a certain alchemist.

"Where are you going?" Envy raised an eyebrow; it was obvious, wasn't it?

"Home," he answered simply as he continued to open the locks.

"But you'll be back right?" Edward said with a hint of hope in his voice. Edward really hoped Envy wouldn't hold a grudge against him but that was like asking an apple tree to bear peaches. But it wasn't Ed's fault, after all, who knew Rose was going to go barge in asking for marriage?

"Right?" Edward squeaked slightly as he felt his hands clench up. Envy didn't answer that question, mainly because he didn't know the answer himself.

Envy ran and ran, until he looked up to find Dante's mansion. As soon as he walked through the door, he was greeted by Lust who was busy separating a fight between Wrath and Greed.

"Hey Envy, how was your stay? Anything interesting happen?" She smiled weakly as she held a squirming Wrath in one hand and a grouchy Greed in the other. Envy sighed sadly, his head hung low as he stared at the ground as if he was waiting for something to happen.

"Nothing, nothing to talk about."

Author's note: okay now we have two choice, sad ending where Envy leaves or happy ending where Envy stays. I could always make two endings but I would like to see which one you prefer.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a long time! But it's getting harder to update normally since the school year begun, so I can only update on weekends. So here's the long needed chapter:

"Damn it Envy! Wake up!" the sin waved away whatever was disturbing his much needed slumber.

"Envy, you lazy good for nothing, get up! It's been three days!" Envy groaned. His mind forced him to sit up. Peering through his messy, tangled, green locks he saw that Lust looked pretty pissed.

"Geez, one more moment and Dante was about to get rid of you." From the sigh and the look of relief, Envy knew Lust was serious.

"Meh, the old hag is all bark but no bite, what time is it?" dark circles hung from underneath his dead eyes, he looked about as alive as a flower is without 3 months of sun.

"Ten, Dante has a new mission for you."

"What's that?" the green haired homunculus was about to pass out on the spot.

"You have to kill a girl, what was her name? Daisy? Violet?" Like a boost of caffeine, his amethyst eyes sprung with life.

"You mean Rose?" he smirked, trying to sound aloof as possible.

"Yeah that's it; she's apparently starting a religious group that could endanger our plan. You need to get rid of her in a quiet, humane way. That way it looks like it was a simple murder by some random person." Lust raised an eyebrow at the older homunculus; he looks like he'll enjoy this job a little too much.

"Envy did you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah, kill the stupid girl. I got it," blood lust filled his eyes; there was almost a red tint, like a demon from the center of the earth.

"Envy doesn't get carried away," the female homunculus warned, arms crossed as she stood in front of his way.

"Whatever," Lust sighed; for she knew he wasn't going to listen.

The bush the green sin was hiding in kept poking his back. He was getting impatient from all the waiting. But his green hair did blend in. This was all so cliché, a killer waiting in an alleyway for an unsuspecting girl. The unoriginality was about to make Envy vomit his stones out. He sat there quietly, thinking of ways to torture her even more. _Maybe I should dress up like the chibi, yes. Humans always seem vulnerable to the ones they love. This'll be a piece of cake, either way the look of shock, the horror in her eyes as she meet's her fate. The thought of it is making me smile. It'll be like killing Hughes all over again!_ If the sin had a heart it would be racing to keep up with the adrenaline rush. Now all he had to do was wait, wait for the mouse to fall into the trap.

"Good bye Miss. Rose we do hope we can continue our meeting this Sunday," a religious freak spoke to the brunette.

"Of course, farewell!" The tan girl strolled down the street, the meeting has gone longer than she had expected. Now she had two decisions, go see Edward or go home. The sinful side of her took over and she turned left, heading down the bad neighborhood. Normally she wouldn't make such an idiotic choice but the reasonable side of her brain was gone. It had been murdered and disposed of. By whom you ask? Why none other than the irrational side of her. Still the cold, winter air brushed against her coat, she shivered but didn't know if it was because she was cold or scared. A scene from a scary story kept replaying in her head; she whistled a tune to keep her mind off the subject. But she kept looking over her shoulder, to make sure there weren't any unwanted followers. But as she turned left, a scream could be heard ten miles away.

A black and white cat looked at the frightened girl, its green eyes confused but yet playful. It licked a paw before scurrying off into the night. Rose let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in.

"See it's all in your head," she assured herself.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," she weakly smiled.

"That cat may not hurt you but I will," The brunette's eyes snapped opened as she whipped her head around to find the palm tree from earlier.

"W-w-what do you want?" She felt cornered no weapons except for her bare hands. Envy chuckled; her stuttering was sign of weakness.

"It seems like you've been a little too nosey and will mess up our plan," His voice sounded dangerously low and smooth, this did not go unnoticed by the horrified girl.

"So it looks like your time is up," he smiled a toothy grin; his teeth looked sharper than usual. Rose felt her knees meet the ground in a harsh thud. Her life didn't flash before her eyes; instead they just grew larger and larger after realizing what will happen.

"No…please don't! I won't every bother you again! I'll leave Edward alone! I'll stop, please just don't kill me!" she sobbed through her tears. Envy smirked; it was fun to watch his prey plead before the final kill.

"Sorry I wish I could-no wait I don't! But I will assure you it's not just business, it's personal!" A sharp scream pierced the air, Envy's hand changed into a whip. He let five lashes mark her back; the oozing, crimson blood stained the earth beneath the sobbing girl.

"Please stop this!" Rose cried as Envy stomped on her aching back, really rubbing the wound until her screams sounded more like a dog's whistle.

"Why, why should I?" Envy glared, she was just another piece of scum and he could easily dispose of her.

"You've only caused me more pain, why should I?" he spat at the squirming vermin.

"Envy let her go," both turned to find the chibi standing there.

"Chibi!" Envy exclaimed.

Sorry it's so short! I've been so busy and my computer mixed up some files so I put a request up with the wrong document so I had to delete it and all that! UGH! Now I have to rewrite the request again -_-'


	9. Chapter 9

"Chibi!" Envy dragged Rose from the hem of her shirt.

"You're just in time to help me kill this pathetic human," Envy grinned, he acted like this was the most normal conversation in the world. Edward glared and tried to break away Envy's iron grip

"Envy let Rose go," he said dangerously low. Purple eyes narrowed, red burned in the pupils that screamed hell fire.

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so," Edward slapped away Envy's hand. Feeling the iron grip release her shirt, Rose's eyes darted around, looking for an escape route. But within a millisecond of her freedom chains warped around her arm.

"What makes you think I'm going to listen to you?" Envy glared, feeling his inner rage come out. But he knew he didn't want to take it out on the chibi.

"Envy just let her go; she's my friend you know." Envy was close to becoming vicious, Edward could feel it as the normally violet eyes glowed red, red like the philosopher's stone.

"No can do Chibi," Envy smirked when he saw he hit a nerve. "But it's like I said, its business not personal," a little white lie bounced off his tongue.

"Well why can't you just let her go and run? I'm sure Lust won't find out." Edward's eye pleaded like a child begging for a toy.

"No, now get out of my way," Envy said, teeth bearing to show he was about to lose his temper. Unfortunately the bull headed side of the alchemist came into play, his arms crossed with a glare in his attitude. Envy scoffed at the blonde's attempt to stop him, he quickly just tossed him to the side so he could start the torture session again.

"Envy, I said stop it!" Envy felt something or more like someone tugging at his hair. The palm tree fell backwards after Edo pulled too hard.

"UGH!" The alchemist felt a tremendous amount of weight crush his ribs. Completely trapped Edward squirmed around, trying to get the kind of dazed sin off him before his premature death from being squashed to death. He grimaced at the thought, that colonel bastard would surely get a kick out of that. Eventually after a while something clicked into his brain. The flailing arms stopped and slowly wrapped around the figure on top of it.

"What the hell are you doing?" Envy glared, he tried to get up but the blond had something else in mind.

"Please Envy just let her go," Ed mumbled as he held the green haired sin closer to him. Blood lingered in his green hair, the putrid smell caused Edward's nose to wrinkle up. He always hated the stench from the crimson liquid.

"Please," Edward mumbled into Envy's shoulder. The sin felt his rapid breathing and didn't realize how furious he truly was, glancing over with scolding eyes he saw the brunette flinch as he made eye contact.

She still didn't move, probably still unsure if she could or not. Slowly the glare painted on his face turned into an annoyed scowl. Ed strained to hear what Envy mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Envy repeated what he said, but he slurred words quickly making it sound like a foreign language.

"What?" Now true irritation displayed on the pale, milk face as he whipped his head away from the chibi.

"I said, fine, she can go." He rolled off the now, arrogant alchemist, to stare a hole at the ground. Edward smirked as he walked over; put his hands on Envy's shoulders.

"See that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Scram and I don't want to ever hear from you again, got it? Or next time, chibi might not be here to stop me," Rose nodded; she gathered what remained of her sanity and sprinted off. Envy sighed; Lust was going to kill him if she ever finds out.

"Don't worry, we'll probably never hear from here again."

"You better hope you're right, because if I get in trouble with Dante about this, I'm dragging you down with me." Edward warmly laughed in the cold wind.

"Okay, we'll both get our skulls cracked open when the time comes." Envy lips formed a semi smile.

"Yeah."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay this next part is a huge time skip to around March; you'll see why I made it like that. I think you might be pleasantly surprised. Oh and Alphonse has his body back now. But Edward still has his automail. Don't ask I just felt like he needed the automail parts.

"Happy birthday wrench girl!" Winry glared but welcomed the hug from the sin. Alphonse and Edward insisted on throwing her a party, although she thinks the only reason Envy came was because of the cake.

"Hey Winry so how does it feel to be old now," the mechanic friendly punched Edward in the arm.

"Hey we're only separated by a year you know?" she said with a fake annoyance.

"You'll get used to it, "Roy stated, he was probably somewhere off flirting with anything in a skirt, preferably a mini skirt.

"Hey guys, so what do we do now?" Riza, Pinako, Roy, Alphonse, Edward, Envy, Paninya, and Winry all sat around, looking bored but that's probably because they were.

"Well I best be heading off to bed now," Granny got up from her chair.

"Are you sure about that? We could always-"

"Nah don't worry about me, parties are meant for young people." The room was silent except for the quiet foot steps as Pinako went off to sleep.

"Whew now that there's no one to stop us," mischief glinted in Mustang's eyes.

"Anybody want a beer?" Alphonse, Edward, and Winry all shook their head in annoyance. While the rest including the sin, nodded.

"Aww come on Blondie," Envy shoved a bottle in Edward's irritated face

"Please?" his puppy eyes begged.

"No Envy and you know I won't," his arms crossed, confirming his answer.

"Ed, stop being such an uptight nark," the alchemist's mouth dropped open to find Winry a little more than tipsy.

"Winry, what are you doing?" The girl looked confused, glanced at the bottle she held and back at the alchemist.

"Drinking, duh." She said it like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"But we're not old enough to," Ed whined seeing no one was on his side.

"Lay off Nii-san, one sip won't hurt you." Edward's head whipped around to find his usually sweet and innocent little brother looking more than piss drunk.

"Al! You can't drink!" he reached over to snatch away the poison in his hands; Al was pretty coordinated for a wasted guy.

"Come on just one sip," he pressed the bottle against the blonde's stubborn lips. But after seeing, he wouldn't budge; Alphonse gave up and stumbled away.

Edward got a cup from the cupboard, he really needed a soda. (AUTHOR'S NOTE: I KNOW SODA WASN'T INVENTED BUT I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER ICED BEVERAGE BESIDES BEER)

"Hey Roy can you hand me some ice?" Roy's eyes lit up for a moment before a smirk formed on his mouth.

"Sure full metal, I'll get you some ice," Roy snickered. Edward raised an eyebrow but assumed it was the alcohol laughing.

"Thanks," Mustang looked like he was about to burst out into laughter any moment. Edward couldn't figure out why everyone was looking at him funny.

"Hey chibi," Edward practically spit out his coke as Envy slapped him on the back.

"We're gonna play the "I've never" game," Envy seemed unusually happy.

"Yeah and?"

"You're gonna play too," his gloved hand dragged the unwilling blond over to the circle. Edward looked around to find Riza and Roy laughing over something, Winry indulging her face in cake, Paninya passed out on the couch, and Alphonse playing with a very fascinating piece of string.

"Okay I'll start, I've never slept with a dude," Roy said. Envy was the only one who took a sip of his drink.

"Your turn," Mustang nudged Riza. For a moment she looked like she was about to shoot him, luckily her gun was removed as soon as she walked in.

"Okay, I've never streaked in public before," Envy and surprising, so did Edward. The blonde's face turned red as he felt all eyes stare at him.

"I was in 2nd grade!" Edward scowled. Everyone's eyes rolled. Edward eye vision started to become a little hazy, but he felt great, the sugar from the coke must be give him a little extra energy, well at least that's what he thinks.

"I've never called Edward short," Al snickered as he saw everyone drink at once. Edward fumed as he began to call out a string of various rants and curses.

"Okay I've never sang before, Winry stated, and to her surprise, no body even took a sip!

"Really you guys haven't sung before?" everyone sort of shrugged it off.

"Your turn Edo, Envy nudges at the spaced out blond.

"Oh…um…I've never…um…slept with anyone before?" Edo practically had a panic attack when he saw everyone, and I mean everyone take a sip. Even Alphonse! Alfonse Elric, his little brother. He might not be as innocent as he thought, but come on!

"ALPHONSE?" Edward clutched his left chest in a dramatic way. Al rolled his eyes and said, "I'm fifteen, aren't teenagers supposed to be this way?"

"But seriously, am I the only one who's still a virgin?" they all glanced at each other before saying "pretty much." Suddenly Edward felt a husky voice breath down his neck,

"You know we can easily change that chibi-san." Of course it didn't take a genius to figure out who that was.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: warning! Lemon ahead! Not a lime but a lemon, yep you're all probably like "finally! Yay smut!")

The blond was thrown against the bed; he felt a relief when he saw he made it home in one piece. The blond closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again he found a little surprise in front of him.

"Envy!" he yelled in shock as he backed up at the bed. Envy stood there, wearing nothing but the black headband he always wore.

"W-w-what are y-y-you d-doing?" he tried to sound enraged, disgusting but it came out sounding afraid. Damn his ukeness! Envy tilted his head to the side in a cute way; his lips formed a pout as asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"What do you mean Edo?"

"You k-know exactly what I mean," his golden eyes couldn't help but wander down south. He turned away, his blush had betrayed him.

"Like what you see?" he formed a smirk, Edward's eyes widen as he shook his head really, really fast.

"Aww come on now, I thought little boys weren't supposed to lie."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE'S A LITTLE TINY, PATHETIC SHRIMP!"

"Well then let's see how small you really are."

The sin pounced on the gasping, confused Edo. Quickly loosening the belt he felt something bulging against the black, leather pants.

"S-s-stop it Envy!" he swatted Envy's hands away. Like he was just zapped, he retreated his hand like he was just caught in a mousetrap.

"Aww is chibi happy to see me?" the amethyst eyed sin purred.

"J-just stop it!" he said with a pout.

"Come on just let me see how big it is," Envy once again made a grab for it but was instantly stopped.

"Why should I?"

"Hey, we're dating so this shouldn't be a problem, right?" Edward crossed his arms but saw Envy wasn't going to give up. He let out a sigh, knowing he would regret this later but…

"Alright but it's a look, okay?" Envy perked up and nodded. Slowly he pulled down the leather, constricting pants left only one piece of clothing left. Becoming impatient, Envy lost control let his lustful side rip off the boxers covering Edo's shaft.

Edward felt scarlet crawl up his cheeks he covered himself with his hands. Envy quickly seized both hands, and put them over the blonde's head against the bedpost.

Envy stared in hunger at Edward's length, it was longer than he expected.

"Okay you saw it now let me go," Edward squirmed in Envy's grasp.

"Well you can't expect me not to fuck your brains out after seeing that," sensing the chibi was about to protest he slammed his mouth against the blonde's. While he felt him melt into his arms, he let one hand slide down toward Edo's little friend.

Edward gasped at the sudden contact, he felt a warm hand grasp around his length.

"E-Envy what are you doing?" he exclaimed, he felt a thousand suns burn redness on his face.

"Neh? Why trying to make you feel good," he smirked as he saw Edward's face when he started to move his hand. Edward breathed heavily, letting out a little moan here and there, the hand felt so alien and bizarre but he didn't dare to let it stop.

He let out a sputtering gasp when he felt a new type of pleasure. He looked to find Envy gently sucking the tip of his length.

"E-Envy? Ah-hh-ah-hh!" he stuttered random syllables as he felt Envy moving closer down his shaft. Envy smiled like the Cheshire cat in his head, if this is Edward now, what will he be like when the real fun starts?Envy wanted to test his screamer theory so he went all the way down the length and hummed a random note. His hypothesis was correct; Edo screamed his name as he continued to moan in pleasure. The green haired sin glance up to find lust clouded the boys golden eyes; he was getting jealous that chibi was having all the fun.

"Ah-hh-ah Envy! I'm going to come!" Just as he was approaching the peak of the mountain the warm mouth retreated. Edward frowned from the sudden lack of warmth.

"Why are you teasing me?" Edward pouted in a cute way. Envy laughed as he pushed the alchemist down on a pillow.

"I wanted you to wait until the real fun starts." Envy chuckled when he saw Edo still didn't get it.

"You'll see," the homunculus replied as he pressed two fingers against the blonde's lips.

"Suck," he ordered, Edward's face screamed with confusion but obediently did what he was told.

He removed his fingers from the mouth when he thought it was lubricated enough.

"This might sting a little okay?"

"Wait, what are you doing-AH!" Edward closed his eyes and bucked upwards only to have a certain sin push him back down.

"Shh! It's okay, just relax okay?" Edward nodded as he felt the finger move around in him, it kind of hurt but it mostly just felt weird. After a while it just turned to a strange feeling rather than a painful one, just when he was relaxed Envy added another finger. The alchemist bit his lip that one definitely hurt!

"Is it too much?" Envy paused for the chibi to answer.

"No…It's okay…move," Edward said between breathes. Envy started to move slowly, noticing Edward was tensing up he used his other hand to rub up and down on his length. Thrusting around, he tried to find that spot. He knew he had found it when Ed screamed an awkward moan. Now that he knew where it was, he kept banging his fingers against over and over again, never letting Edward recover from the pleasure.

His moans were distorted, his kept breath irregularly.

"Envy I'm going to ah-ah-"just when he was about to climax, the homunculus removed his fingers from the blond.

"Stop doing that!" Edward said, now he was definitely angry. He felt a hand push him back down; he didn't get much of a warning except for his legs being spread out and a rhetorical "ready?" Edward hissed as he bit his bottom lip, he felt the crimson blood draw from the bite. But he focused more on the giant length in him. He struggled to remain relaxed, even after being prepared he felt new type of pain.

"Are…you okay?" Envy tried to control himself from fucking the brains out of the blond.

"Yeah, just give me a moment," he waited but the constricting muscles to relax. When he felt it was time, he ordered the homunculus above him to move.

"Okay," he said, and that was all the sin needed to hear. Edward groaned, it still hurt even after the preparation but he tried to focus on the pleasured side.

After Envy increased in speed, the strange feeling went away but the pain was still there mixed in with a little pleasure.

Edward moaned as he felt the sin trashing into him. His eyes closed to focus only on the pleasure. Suddenly they shot open as he let out a loud scream; Envy kept hitting the bundle nerves over and over again. The alchemist raked the back of the thrusting homunculus.

"AH-AH-ENVY!" he cried out over and over again, his words seemed to fuel the sin's hunger and lust

Edward screamed over and over again, the neighbors probably thought he was being murdered, but he didn't care he just wanted the pleasure to go on.

Feeling his climax was close; Envy sped up and also grabbed the blonde's forgotten shaft and ran up and down. Envy felt his pride get to the best of him; he needed the chibi to climax first. He loved the sound of Edo crying his name as he continued to pound into him.

"ENVY!" one final thrust did the trick, leaving the blond to float in his ecstatic high before coming back down to normal. Soon after Edward's release Envy was also reduced to a loud groan that sounded like a muffled "Edward". He rolled over to make sure he wouldn't collapse and potentially squash the chibi. Envy took one look at the exhausted alchemist before falling asleep himself.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Another time jump, to about a month after the incident)

"Edo what's wrong with you?" Envy asked, his face full of concern as he held the blonde's hair back to throw up today's breakfast.

"It's probably nothing," Edward wiped his mouth and stumbled to the door, he was going to be late for work.

"Oh no, I'm calling in to say you're sick." Edward pouted as Envy carried hi out the door.

"I still don't see why I need to see a doctor; it's probably just a stomach virus."

"Edo, stomach viruses don't last for weeks," Edward pouted as he rest his head against Envy's shoulders, doctor's offices depressed him.

He looked around to find two sniffling kids, around the age of ten using a bunch of tissues. A little bin full of toys for the toddlers covered the corner of the room along with a bunch of boring books. A young brunette nurse stepped out with a clipboard.

"Mr. Elric?" she called out in a sweet, high pitched voice.

"That's us," Envy dragged the whining alchemist behind him.

"Well after what Mr. Envy told me, I just want to take a few tests if that's alright with you," the doctor chewed on her pencil as she started to take the tests.

"And when did this start?" she felt around the small bump on Edward's stomach.

"About two weeks ago," Edward eyed the office they were in. Informative posters decorated the room, along with various medical tools. He personally glared at the measuring one; it always was his worst enemy when it came to doctors.

"Mh mm," mumbled as she wrote something with weird look.

"Tell me, have you been gaining some weight?" she asked with caution tinting her tone.

Edward looked away in embarrassment; he didn't want to admit he was getting fat.

"Well a little…"

"Do you know exactly how much?"

"No," he muttered to the floor.

"Well I'm going to ask you to take off your shoes and step onto this scale."

Edward could tell from Dr Aleen's weird glance, he had gotten fatter.

"How much did you weigh before the throwing up and cramps?" she asked as she wrote something on her clipboard.

"About 115 pounds, why how much did I gain?" Edward looked like he was on the verge of tears. He couldn't figure out why he was so emotional, it must be hormones…but don't usually only girls cry?

"Well Mr. Elric, you seemed to have gained about 4 pounds in two weeks, now I'm going to need to take a few more tests to see if my theory is correct."

"What theory is that?" Envy questioned by didn't get a response.

About one week later the strange couple returned to the doctor's office to hear the "surprising news"

"What do you think it could be?" Edward clutched his queasy stomach.

"I don't know, but what ever it is I'll be here Edo," Envy's gloved hands wrapped around the alchemist's trembling, sweaty palms.

"Ah, good to see you again Mr. Elric and Mr. Envy," Dr Aleen sat down in a chair; she was nervously playing with her black hair.

"So what's the news? Am I going to die?" he choked on his own words.

"No, no I assure you it's nothing like that," the alchemist and homunculus relaxed.

"What a relief," Envy let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"However," the black haired doctor got up to fetch the clipboard dangled from the counter.

"I'm sorry to say this since this goes against all medical textbooks I've read…" both men paled at her words.

"What's wrong with me?" Edward gasped. Dr. Aleen looked up with sad brown eyes.

"Edward, you're pregnant."

Dun, dun, dun! Sorry for the cliffhanger but it will lead to a sequel featuring male pregnancy XD Thanks to you all, for being patient and sticking with this story. I hope you'll enjoy the sequel as well.


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